These are books I wanted desperately to share with you — but they didn’t fit in a neat little category. Just like life, really.
When my grandfather died (I was 10) my two-year-old nephew asked my grandmother why she shot him. In his life, the only deaths he knew of were from watching TV — and that is how people died on TV.
To avoid such awkwardness and hurt, it may be a good idea to lay some groundwork before a death happens.
Some of these books might help with that.
A Map Into the World by Kao Kalia Yang; illustrated by Seo Kim.
A gentle story of inter-generational and cross-cultural understanding and empathy.
A young Hmong girl and her family move into a new house, while awaiting the birth of her twin brothers. Across the street live Bob and Ruth.
Time and seasons pass, and Ruth dies.
Wanting to give comfort and healing, the girl draws a map into the world for Bob, on his driveway.
The Funeral by Matt James.
If you are attending a funeral with a child — particularly a funeral of someone you’re not necessarily very close to — this might be a good place to start the discussion. I was fortunate that my first funeral was at the age of four, and was for someone I had never met — a local baker.
This book is of a child’s view of a funeral — of a great-uncle. A view which includes boring speeches, fancy food, and playing with your favourite cousin.
Sometimes, funerals are fun – who doesn’t like friends and fancy food — if you’re a child.
This one resonates for me as I had younger family members wanting to know why there were no balloons at the party (i.e. their grandfather’s funeral). It had to be a party, because there was party food and all their cousins to play with.
My Dad (their other grandfather) promised balloons at his funeral — and we did have then at his family-only burial service.
All the Dear Little Animals by Ulf Nilsson, illustrated by Eva Eriksson, translated by Julia Marshall.
Ah, the obsessions of childhood. For these children, it is burying all the dead animals they can lay their hands on — including roadkill. They hold beautiful funerals and, as they are doing so, the older children explain death to Puttie, the little brother (whose fears and concerns are sometimes brushed aside by his very organising older sister, Esther).
Cute and uncomplicated, this would make a good text to explain what death is, before it becomes an issue.
The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Christian Robinson.
A very realistic discussion about death — including the physical changes a body undergoes. Children find a dead bird in the park and, emulating adult behaviour, hold a funeral and burial service for the bird. They keep its grave tidy, with flowers on it, until they forget.
Fox: A Circle of Life Story by Isabel Thomas & Daniel Egnéus.
Woven through this story of Fox is an explanation of the life cycle, of decomposition, of the food chain.
Its structure would appeal to both those who need a story, and also those who prefer facts.
This post is part in a series by Solidarity Team member Anne (she/her)
